Love

Love is an act of the will

" Love is a feeling of the mind as much as of the heart; it concerns the will as much as the emotions. It describes the deliberate effort -- which we can make only with the help of God.
Christian Love, you see, is an act of the will which needs to be directly cultivated. " Author Elizabeth George.

As I read this excerpt above this morning, from her book, A Woman's Walk with God, I thought about how difficult this is at times ; to willingly love. Specifically, toward those that are not very nice, or the hardest to Love. The whole chapter I read challenges the reader to evaluate those in their lives who are the hardest and easiest to love, and to ask ourselves how are we treating them? How are we doing loving them?

 I find myself specifically challenged with this in regards to my students.

Because of the nature of my job,  filling in for teachers while they are away, I face constant challenges day in and day out. You can imagine the resistance I face from these kids.

 It is so easy to be "nice" to the students who are saying thank you, and minding their Ps and Qs so-to-speak. It is difficult to "love" the kids that are challenging my patience. Of course, this is the flesh resisting the spirit when I find these difficulties. I had a specific situation this past Monday that relates to all of this. 

 I had not taught this class yet this year, but have taught the majority of the kids in years passed. There was one child in particular that holds a special place in my heart. I sense the feeling is mutual, as he as expressed his admiration for me many times in the past. Anyway, he was REALLY acting up throughout the afternoon, and as much as I care for this kid, as much as I wanted to be super pleasant with him, enough was enough.

When I disciplined him by having him sit out from the game at the end of the day, I felt a bit of resistance in my spirit. "How can I keep this kid from the 'fun' that the others will engage in, if I care for this kid so much?" I asked myself. BUT I had a stronger sense that this is what needed to be done.

Sometimes love comes in many forms, not just smiling, and hugging, and telling one another we love each other. But setting boundaries, holding one another accountable, and expressing our feelings when wise and appropriate.

So, what happened with the kid you ask? I told him to "sit this one out", and he said, "yeah, I probably deserve that." I didn't yell, or give him a dirty look, or anything nasty of the like.
So, even though I didn't give him what he wanted, somewhere deep inside, I know I showed him Love. And I have a feeling he knows that.

It is only through God's Holy Spirit that I didn't yell, give into my flesh and ignore the behaviour because of how much I like the kid.

Now, is this they way I have always responded in the past? NO, HECK NO! This girl is a work in progress. And the more I spend time with God and bask in His Love, the more that Love flows out of me. I have made mistakes in the past where I act nasty toward the kid that is challenging me on that particular day. Where I have said things I regret, or simply ignored behavior because it is easier to do that. But God continues to show me that in these situations there was room for improvement. And even now, I know there still is. There's always the challenges I face tomorrow when I re-enter the classroom. Will I show Love?
As long as I look to God to equip me!