The times when I am not daydreaming at the sound of that word [marriage] I instantly think of my commitment to God, as a sacred marriage; the covenant I find myself in, ever since I called out to Jesus to be the Prince of my heart.
I was reading Gary Thomas', Sacred Marriage, and I found myself in the chapter titled, "Finding God in Marriage," and really gleaned a lot about the single life from this. Let me explain.
In this chapter, Thomas explores how various analogies use the experience of marriage to teach us valuable truths about the nature of God. Through the experience of being married, we can come to know God in new ways. Brilliant.
In the book of Hosea (www.biblegateway.com : search for "Hosea"--well worth the read!!),
the underlying message shows that:
God views his people as a husband views his wife: 'In that day', declares the Lord, 'you will call me my husband, you will no longer call me my master...I will betroth you to me forever' (Hosea 2:16,19a.). God wants us to relate to Him with an obedience fueled by love and intimacy, not by self-motivated fear and with a loyalty to a divine human relationship, not a blind adherence to 'principles'. A husband harbors a passion toward his wife that is absent in a master toward his slave.
This speaks to me as a single person, which I don't think the author was intending for. BUT, I really feel like God was speaking loud and clear to me. It got me thinking. My singleness has its ups and downs, I think most in my position would vouch for that. Rewinding the clock to just over a year ago, I came to a place in my singleness where the longing for a mate became almost too much to bear. I felt I had no other choice BUT to wait...lol...finally giving up the reigns to the Big Guy upstairs. I chose to lay it down at God's feet, on the altar, kicking and screaming actually. Even though it was a choice, it wasn't easy. I knew He knew best, but it wasn't easy admitting that. After all, that battle between flesh and spirit can be brutal sometimes! It was through a series of events and divine encounters that the Holy Spirit revealed to me that surrendering all of this was best for me. I obeyed and pleaded with God to take the obsession with finding a mate, away from me. After all, isn't the guy supposed to find me? But of course, that could be a whole other discussion for another time!
Being the faithful God that He is, He gladly took the obsession from me. The Holy Spirit comforted me in the grief and tears shed over the "hole" I felt a significant other should be filling. I love that not only God takes things from us when they are not good for us, but also fills that void with a Holy, healthy comfort that only He can.
Over the next couple of weeks I found myself picking up that very thing I surrendered, time and time again.
Didn't see that coming? Come on now, I am only human.
God in all His graciousness was PATIENT with me (why do I capitalize patient? Because that is one of the characteristics I value the most about our heavenly father). He kept meeting me there, each time, in my surrender of my obsession with finding a mate.
Through the next couple of weeks God led me to a sacred place of meeting with His Son on a weekly basis. "Dates with Jesus", was how I categorized that time. I went so far as marking it on my calendar and scheduling the time, one date a week being the minimum. There were some weeks where I found myself at home, without my roommates, and would go into the prayer room (our spare room) and have a sporadic date with Jesus. Those were often the best! Some of you that may be reading this remember this time, and me sharing some things with you about it. I appreciate your encouragement during that time :)
For those of you who are thinking this idea is strange, let's take a minute to describe these dates. Sometimes the date would be in a public setting, IE- Tim Horton's, at a 2 person table, in a quiet corner. I would bring my bible, a notebook, and a heart of expectation.
This whole idea was inspired by the Holy Spirit, so each time I felt the sacredness of it, kinda like an autumn wind sweeping in, and truth be told, it was one of the most exciting times of my life. Seriously.
I would look up scriptures about "love" and God would show up. He was speaking directly to me through the scriptures, and each time I would journal it. The promises He was making, the way He felt about me, etc... Other times the date would be at our dining room table, living room, or down by the river.
To start I would enter into a time a prayer and thank God for His love for me, His longing for me, and for the time set before me. I LOVE that every time He showed up. I was valuable enough to Him to always show up. I LOVED IT!!
I have a notebook full of scriptures that came alive in my heart through those most precious times, many of the scriptures were from Psalms and Song of Songs. During this experience God laid it on my heart to do this for 7 weeks. During which time, I was so serious about this time being devoted to the Lord, I wore my mom's old engagement ring. It kept guys at a distance and my heart and mind set on Christ. It even prompted questions from others, giving me an opportunity to explain my heart was devoted to God for a season (which always made me really nervous to tell others, especially non-Christians). I felt an act of obedience by sharing with others in those moments. I wasn't ashamed. Even if I did get some strange looks!
Sometimes I would just stare down at that diamond when the light would hit it, and be reminded of the glorious love He had for me. It would often take my breath away. Not the diamond, His love.
Each time I would meet with Jesus, I would glean an underlying truth that rang true to both my relationship with Him, Bride to Bridegroom, but also to an earthly husband. I have a whole list of truths He showed me. I pray over it as He prepares my heart (and my to-be husband's heart) for one another. Marriage was a key theme during those 7 weeks spent with Jesus.
If you are interested in hearing more about that special time and maybe are feeling prompted to do something similar, I would encourage you to email me (maribethferry@gmail.com). There were several books, by Christian authors that God brought into my life at that time, through different circumstances that I would love to suggest :
- Sacred Singleness
- Captivating
- Falling in Love with Jesus
- Lady in Waiting
- Hiding from Love
Most of us know how that story (with Abraham) ends. Isaac is given back to Abraham, in tact, unharmed. In the end, the Lord knew Abraham's heart for God, and Abraham, I am sure, developed a deeper faith while trusting God. I feel this happening in my own heart.
I haven't received my "Isaac" in the form of a mate, but I have received a deeper understanding of God's love for me. A deeper fulfillment that ONLY God can fill me with. He is my portion, my strength, my redeemer, and my Bridegroom. The prince of my heart.
to be continued...
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